Monday, November 17, 2008

Just Sitting

i love sitting and relaxing. its just great. who doesn't love it, right? its so funny because often my wife will call me and ask, "what are you doing?" i'll answer her, "i'm sitting." like that answer isn't good enough, right? its like i've got to be doing something other than just sitting. something around me must be occupying my attention while I'm just "sitting." its rather funny.

i am a super busy person. i love life on the go. i love having and making plans. but after all of that I love to just lie on my couch. sundays are especially fruitful for me. there is nothing better than just lying on the couch watching the patriots play football. i think its the fact that everything else is just still. i can focus. i can concentrate. no distractions. i can reflect on everything that has been going on.

as i'm typing this post, my wife is sitting on the couch with me. clearly she is enjoying the wonderful rest that is offered to us by the couch. but as I'm sitting here writing this post about our wonderful couch, something dawned on me. what is it that is special about this couch? is it the fact that the couch is comfy? or is the fact that the two of us are just sitting together?

i've been stuck in the house for the past several days because i've been sick. i've had this combination of an eye infection and a cold/flu thing. its been a serious pain. while I enjoy resting on my couch, i hate to be stuck in my house. this morning, i looked at my wife and said, "where do you want to go today?" she laughed and said, "you are stir crazy." i said, "whats that?" she replied by telling me it means i'm sick of being in the house. this was definitely true. we decided to spend the day together in dayton. we drove about an hour and a half away to this really nice mall. it was great to get out of the house and walk around. christmas time at the mall is always fun. i especially love to go to stores like brookstone and try out every single gadget there is. at brookestone they even have this battery powered grill brush. i thought, "this is just plain lazy!" i also really like to walk around in the super huge sporting stores. its just fun.

but the most revealing part of the trip was our ride home. at the beginning of the drive home my wife and I had a stupid argument about nothing. by the middle of the trip home we had reconciled and things were much better. she fell asleep briefly and I turned off the music so she wouldn't wake up. and it was that moment in time that I enjoy so much. we weren't talking or communicating in anyway. we weren't doing anything fun or exciting. she was sleeping and I was driving. the most enjoying part of just sitting is being in her presence.

i had an interesting experience that occurred several months ago. i have always struggled to fall asleep. i'm not exactly sure why. i just can't seem to turn off my brain. i'll be laying there and just be thinking and thinking. before I know it, an hour or two will pass. i'm not stressed. i'm not fretting or worrying about anything. just thinking.

so several months ago, I'm lying in bed with one of my thinking moments. I couldn't fall asleep and I was fed up. then I thought, "God, do you want to tell me something?" i thought this was freakin brilliant. so I went into the other room and got on my knees in front of our comfy couch. i knelt there and asked, "God, what do you want to say? what do i need to hear? i'm here. i am willing to listen to you." it was at that moment that I realized God had nothing to say to me. it was at that moment that I realized God didn't want to talk with me. it was at that moment I realized God just wanted to be there with me. so I said. "Ok, God. I know you're hear." God simply wanted me to acknowledge his presence. God wanted me to know he was there.

after that I went back to bed and fell asleep. but doesn't it make you wonder? what does God want from us? does he want our jibber jabber? does he even want to talk our ear off? or does God just want us to recognize his presence? does God just want us to know he is there?

God is always with us. God is always interacting with us. he wants nothing more than us to acknowledge his presence when we're talking with people, playing games, hanging out with friends, running errands, working out, stressing out, and yes, even just sitting.


Nancy said...

Makes a lot of sense to me Andy that God just wants to hang out with us. If sitting is the focus for the afternoon then so be it. I like the way you think, which is a lot like your dad :)It's wonderful to hear that you and Leigh didn't stay mad about whatever it was that caused your disagreement & watching her sleep was reward enough!
love ya

Tug Taviano said...

Dude...I swear we are just alike(minus a few pounds)...from the the sports wrestless loving to watch football (but I prefer the browns...but I have something for you if you want it, it has to do with the patriots)But most of all what I see is a passion that just wants to know what God wants from us...and for that I am thankful I read your blog!! I look forward to the future bro..and hope God can work through our stupidity to bring HIM GLORY!! Call me bro..419-236-3107

Casey said...

good content here andy.